


A Good Man

by Strange and Intoxicating -rsa- (strangeandintoxicating)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Curtis does the right thing., Curtis isn't a bad guy, Curtis's POV, Divorce, Keith isn't a bad guy, M/M, Shiro isn't a bad guy, but absolutely a happy ending for Shiro and Keith, not infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 05:33:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17461553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangeandintoxicating/pseuds/Strange%20and%20Intoxicating%20-rsa-
Summary: “Are you sure you want to go through with this, Curtis?”Curtis closed his eyes. He could see the scar stark against Keith’s cheek, the scar that Shiro had put on him. He had heard the words Shiro had said, had screamed and cried and begged in a thousand nightmares.Just let go, Keith. You don’t have to fight anymore.He never heard what Keith had said, but he knew what Shiro meant.I love you. I failed you. I am nothing without you.“Yeah, I’m sure.”Curtis took in a shuddering breath before nodding to himself. He raised his hand and signed the papers. It was only the petition, only the request, but Curtis knew what this was.Curtis Shirogane was no more.His name didn’t look right on the paper. It had never looked right.





	A Good Man

If Curtis were honest with himself, he had known from the moment he first smiled at Takashi Shirogane that Shiro was a taken man. Sure, there hadn’t been a ring on his finger or a piece of paper making it official, but Curtis had always known.

Deep, deep down, he had _always_  known this would happen.

Curtis tried to keep the pain down, tried to keep his own agony at bay. This was the price of falling in love with a man who would never really love him—at least not in the way that Curtis wanted to be loved. The way Curtis deserved to be loved.

Even though he had the ring and the piece of paper, Shiro would never be his.

No, he was never meant to be the one, and Curtis had to bite back his own bitter tears at that thought. No matter how often he pushed it away, how many times he cried, how often he woke to Shiro’s screaming—to Shiro screaming someone else’s name in his panic and terror—it didn’t matter.

Curtis could have put all of the blame on Shiro. He could have even put all of the blame squarely on Keith’s shoulders; he was, afterall, the reason this had happened in the first place, but Curtis held in that desire.

It wasn’t Keith’s fault. It wasn’t Shiro’s fault.

Shiro had always been the taken man.

Curtis just never quite realized that he was the other man. He was the problem.

“Mr. Shirogane—”

“Please don’t call me that.” It felt more like begging that a request, and Curtis could feel his heart being torn straight out of his chest with every syllable. When they had first gotten married, Curtis had loved that name. He had worn it with so much pride, so much adoration. He was the man who had somehow managed to impress Takashi Shirogane, the pilot of the Atlas. He had taken the heart of one of the most beautiful, amazing men on the planet—no, in the universe.

Now it felt wrong, as though someone were speaking in riddles—riddles or lies, though Curtis couldn’t quite tell what the difference was between them.

“Okay, Curtis.” The woman’s voice was soft, softer than he wanted to hear, and he knew what was coming next. He knew it before the words left her mouth.

“We’ll need a statement from you to get the ball rolling, here. Since you are the petitioner, we’ll need to know the reason for filing.”

What was Curtis supposed to say? Was he supposed to be proud to tell the woman in front of him what had happened, how he had knowingly fallen for a man who would never truly be his? How he had listened to months of whispers of another man’s name on his husband’s lips before seeing both Shiro and Keith close enough to touch and yet /not.

It would have been so much easier if Shiro had touched Keith. It would have been Shiro’s fault, would have been Keith’s fault. Curtis could have lived in his anger and pain, festered in it until it took everything from him.

He could have done that. Part of him wished that he _had_  done it.

But Curtis was better than that.

“Was it an affair?”

Curtis looked down at his hands, letting his fingers play against the wooden surface. The platinum of his ring was _mocking_ him.

“Not exactly.”

The woman paused for a moment before picking up her pen. “That isn’t exactly an answer, either.”

Curtis understood that, but…

He couldn’t lie.

He was the one who had the affair with Shiro. He was the one at fault. He had done this to himself, knowing exactly that it was on him. He had fallen in love, had prayed and prayed that Shiro would love him back.

“You are aware that due to Mr. Shirogane’s position, if you file for adultery in a contested divorce he will likely be court-martialed. If he is found guilty he faces a dishonorable discharge.”

Curtis closed his eyes. “He didn’t cheat on me.”

The woman’s pen stopped.

“He… he’s in love with someone else,” Curtis admitted, his hand stopping. The words tasted like bile in the back of his throat, but he pushed forward. “He’s always been in love with someone else. But he didn’t sleep with him.”

“An emotional affair, then.”

Curtis sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Then cruelty—”

Curtis shook his head. “Takashi isn’t cruel. He’d _never_ —”

The lawyer paused. “Curtis, have you spoken to you husband about this?”

No. Curtis hadn’t talked to Shiro about it. He had run, instead. He had run as far as he could go the moment he saw the way Shiro had leaned forward to wipe Keith’s tears. They hadn’t even touched, Shiro’s hand just hanging in the air, waiting for him to move it, for him to cup Keith’s face. And he had wanted to. God, Shiro had wanted to. It was written on every curve of Shiro’s face, in every nerve of his hand, of every moment his gaze stayed locked with Keith’s.

But then Shiro pulled his hand away, and that was more painful than the thought of Shiro going through with it.

No way for Curtis to play the victim, to feel in any way vindicated.

Shiro was a good man.

And Curtis…

Curtis needed to be a good man, too.

“I thought so.”

“I—I can’t do this anymore. I just want…”

Curtis didn’t know what he wanted. Rather, he knew that he would never really get what he wanted. Shiro would never love him, not the way he loved Keith. Never the way he loved Keith.

“It would be in your best interest to talk with your husband before making such a decision.”

“Mrs. Landry,” Curtis sighed, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I knew. I’ve always known.”

The woman’s face softened.

“I just—”  Curtis closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair. He focused on his hand, on the way it felt against his face. He could feel the ring, too.

Curtis pulled his arm down.

“Curtis, these things happen. Sometimes marriages don’t work out. There is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“It’s been less than a year and—”

“It doesn’t matter how long the marriage lasted. You’re not required to tough it out and stay in a relationship that you feel is loveless.”

“I—I didn’t say it was loveless,” Curtis countered, but even saying it outloud felt wrong. It wasn’t loveless; there were genuine times where Shiro had made him happy and where Curtis knew he had made Shiro feel the same. There were feelings there, but it didn’t matter.

There was someone who had claimed Shiro’s heart long before Curtis was in the picture, and Curtis couldn’t continue to look into the eyes of the man he loved to only know that Shiro still cried out for another man’s name in his sleep. How could he ever compete with a man who went across the universe to save Shiro? How could he fault Shiro for falling in love with his wild, spunky best friend who had been willing to die with Shiro rather than lose him?

Curtis should have known from the moment Shiro told him about the memories and the dreams, about him and Keith falling to their deaths but Keith refusing to let go of his hand. He should have known the first time he saw Shiro and Keith interact without the others watching, when their too-easy camaraderie had made the hairs on Curtis’s neck stand at attention.

He should have known from the way all of Shiro’s friends, all the other Paladins, had gone stony-faced and silent the day Shiro held his hand and announced their plans to get married. He should have known from the way Keith had excused himself from the dinner and had immediately left for Daibazaal. He should have known how Pidge refused to even talk to him, how Hunk had just frowned, how Lance had stared off into the space above Shiro’s shoulder, mouthing words to a ghost that Curtis couldn’t see.

Allura.

It would have been easier if Keith had been dead.

Curtis closed his eyes. No, no. **No, no, no, no, _no_.** That wasn’t fair. That wasn’t right. That wasn’t right at all.

Curtis was a good man. He **_was_**.

“Then we’re left with irreconcilable differences.”

The term almost made Curtis snort. Irreconcilable differences. This was his heart, his love, ripped out and strewn across the table, and the lawyer’s only response was _irreconcilable_ _differences_.

“Fine. That’ll… that’ll work.”

 

* * *

 

Drafting the legal papers doesn’t take too long, but Curtis spent more time than he dared to admit staring at the ivory pieces of paper, the words turning to a black grease smudge in his head. Every time he looked at the words they made less and less sense, until it finally reached a point where Curtis blinked blearily at the lawyer.

“You’ve been holding onto that pen for the last thirty minutes.”

Curtis swallowed.

“Are you sure you want to go through with this, Curtis?”

Curtis closed his eyes. He could see the scar stark against Keith’s cheek, the scar that Shiro had put on him. He had heard the words Shiro had said, had screamed and cried and begged in a thousand nightmares.

_Just let go, Keith. You don’t have to fight anymore._

He never heard what Keith had said, but he knew what Shiro meant.

I love you. I failed you. I am nothing without you.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Curtis took in a shuddering breath before nodding to himself. He raised his hand and signed the papers. It was only the petition, only the request, but Curtis knew what this was.

Curtis Shirogane was no more.

His name didn’t look right on the paper. It had never looked right.

“If he signs… how long will we need to wait?”

Mrs. Landry smiled, though it was that particularly painful thin-lipped half-grimace that Curtis had seen more than once from the other Paladins. “If he signs? And considering the prenuptial agreement signed before the wedding? The state of Arizona requires 60 days.”

“Does… does he have to stay here?”

“In the state?”

Curtis shook his head. “On earth.”

“Ah. Well, we haven’t quite figured out inter-galaxy divorces yet in the court of law,” she said, “but I wouldn’t imagine it would be difficult. He would just need to return on the court date.”

Curtis nodded.

“You won’t even try mediation? Counselling?”

“Mrs. Landry,” Curtis whispered, “I… I love my husband. I’m doing this for us both.”

“I have no doubt you do, Curtis.”

Curtis licked his lips, numbly dropping the pen onto the desk. It thudded much like his heart. “I just… I wanted him to love me. But he doesn’t love me. He loves… he loves the stars. He belongs with the stars.”

 

* * *

 

Curtis entered the kitchen through the back door, listening for the sound of his hus—Shiro, in the other room. He could hear a low murmur of conversation, a conversation that Curtis knew wasn’t for his ears, and yet he still found himself listening in.

“—miss it, don’t you?”

“I… of course I do, Keith. You know I’ve missed _you_ , too.”

“It’s been… it’s been good to be back. To see you again. Things are different, but it almost feels like old times.”

Curtis’s heart was beating like a gong in his chest, in his ears, in his very bones.

“Old times, huh?”

Keith let out a small snort. “Maybe… maybe we could even squeeze in a race.”

“Just like old times, when I’d kick your ass?” The wistfulness in Shiro’s voice left Curtis breathless. It had been so long since Shiro had sounded like that—no.

It was the first time that Curtis had ever heard that tone in Shiro’s voice.

“You know I’ll leave you in the dust, Old Timer.”

“I may be old but I’m sure I can still wipe the floor with you.”

“You wish.”

Curtis turned and leaned against the door, trying his best not to so much as breathe too loudly. He didn’t want to listen, but he _did_. He needed to hear it. He needed to know.

“Maybe…” Shiro’s voice caught in his throat, and Curtis could almost imagine the smile that was undoubtedly tugging at the corners of his lips. Curtis loved the way Shiro smiled. He loved everything about Shiro. “Maybe we’ll go to that old diner, the one we used to go to. They just finished rebuilding, but the menu’s the same. I would kill for a milkshake.”

“And then we could go out to that old telescope. You remembe—”

“Of _course_ I remember.”

Keith paused, then whispered, “If… if you wanted, I could show you Daibazaal. Maybe even Altea.”

“I don’t think the telescope is that good.” But there wasn’t a hint of a tease. Not even a shred of it.

**Be the man I know you are, Shiro. Be the man I need you to be.**

“Just… forget it,” Keith said after a moment of tense silence. “Things are different, now.”

**Things _are_ different now.**

“I…” Shiro paused, and for the first time Curtis really couldn’t even imagine what Shiro looked like. He had never seen what Shiro looked like in love before, “I can’t, Keith. I—I _can’t_.”

The pause dragged on for almost hours, but it couldn’t have been more than a second.

“I know. I wouldn’t—you know I wouldn’t. And I know _you_ wouldn’t.”

“I know, Keith. I know.”

And it hurts, because Shiro was a good man, a good man who loved deeply and ferociously, and Curtis would have killed to have such a man love him so unquestioningly.

Curtis took out the divorce papers and set them on the kitchen counter, grabbing the little pink post-it notes from next to the sink. His hands shook as he scribbled the note and his eyes burned with tears, but this was the right thing to do.

This was the right thing to do, because Shiro was **good**.

_**Go with him. Be happy.** _

“Be free.”

His ring caught on his knuckle and Curtis felt tears slip down his face—just a few. Just a little pain. It would be okay in the morning.

He would be okay in the morning.

Curtis steeled himself against the counter for a moment, taking in a few breaths before he headed back to the back door. One last look, one last reminder of the happiness that had come from their life together, before Curtis opened the door, making sure to flick the kitchen light on as he stepped out.

He heard Shiro’s voice, the simple, “Curtis?” just as the door closed.

Curtis didn’t turn around.

He didn’t need to.

He didn’t _want_ to.

 

* * *

 

Curtis drove. He drove away from their house, away from their memories, away from the life that he knew he would have had. He knew that Shiro would have stayed with him, would have kept their promise, but Curtis had always known that Shiro was a taken man.

Keith and Shiro hadn’t needed rings on their fingers or a piece of paper for Curtis to know they were taken, but Curtis has… he had wanted a good man.

Shiro was a good man.

He always _would_ be a good man.

But Curtis was a good man, too.

Curtis stared out at the setting sun, at the way the dusky reds and oranges and yellows took his breath away, and he rolled down the windows as he pressed his foot on the gas.

The air greeted him like a long-lost lover.

Good men deserved to be free.

  


**Author's Note:**

> This story was written in part due to some people being quite frustrated about cheating!Shiro stories. I saw a lot of people writing how they were angry about the cheating fics and I wanted to finally say that I am /not/ one of those people. I am perfectly fine with people writing cheating fics. I'm fine with people writing whatever they want.
> 
> I'm finally going to free one of my stories that I wrote, just so everyone knows that I have written both sides of this story—the side where Shiro does and doesn't.


End file.
